Turns Out I’m Hottest in a Muppet Suit

We obsess over the “right” dating profile photo—dozens of versions, endless filters, six friends giving conflicting opinions.

And then… a Muppet wins.

This week’s dispatch gives you a weirdly powerful two-step plan:

• Use AI to tell you which of your photos stands out (and why)

• Use the apps’ built-in algorithm tools to test them like a pro

All wrapped inside the story of how a lilac bathmat alien got me 23 likes and a date.

📸 Ask AI Which Photo Is Doing the Most

You know that one friend who’s brutally honest, but still weirdly good at picking your best photo?

That’s AI now. But you have to prompt it well.

Here’s a fully baked, plug-and-play prompt:

📥 Copy this into your favorite AI program. (I use ChatGPT and Claude.)

Then attach your photos.

Let AI tell you what a stranger might see.
Then decide what you want to lead with.

🧵 Storytime: When the Algorithm Fell for a Muppet

I stared at my phone in disbelief: 23 likes. All on the same photo.

Not the golden hour beach shot.
Not the hiking pic that took fourteen tries to look “effortlessly adventurous.”
Not even the “deep in thought” coffee shop image with a book I never finished.

No.

Twenty-three men swiped right on a photo of me dressed as a Yip Yip martian from Sesame Street—a lilac Muppet with googly eyes, antennae, and absolutely zero visible human features. (For context, here’s the classic Martians find a phone Sesame Street clip.)

I’d added the photo as a joke. A Halloween wild card.
I’d made the costume with my bare hands and a hot glue gun. My kitchen looked like a Muppet crime scene. There was faux fur fuzz everywhere, even somehow in the fridge, in the butter.
But the result? Hilarious. Overheated. Joyful.

And yet… this was the photo Tinder chose to make my lead image.

Here’s why: most dating apps—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge—use an “explore/exploit” algorithm.
The same kind Netflix, Spotify, Amazon, and TikTok use every time they show you a thumbnail or suggest something “just for you.”

Here’s how it works:

• First, the algorithm explores by rotating which photo shows up first on your profile (or which thumbnail appears for your show).

• Then, once it has enough data, it exploits the top performer—locking in the one that gets the most taps, likes, or engagement.

It’s basically testing which version of your face gets the most attention.

And in my case? The winner was a walking, googly-eyed bathmat alien.

The messages started rolling in.
“Yip yip yourself into my DMs?”
“Is it weird this is hot?”
“I’ve never been into Muppets, but here we are.”

Meanwhile, the jumpsuit photo I agonized over? The one with actual makeup and shapewear and good lighting?

Crickets.

At first, I was insulted. Then amused. Then a little existential.

But honestly? It set me free.

Because the photo that worked wasn’t the most flattering.
It wasn’t the sexiest.
It wasn’t even recognizably me.

But it was honest. Chaotic. Weird. Playful. Authentic.

And it cut through the noise.

After a while, I realized something: dating apps aren’t about who you are.
They’re about what makes a stranger pause mid-scroll.

We’re all little thumbnails in someone’s endless feed.
And just like Netflix learns what kinds of images drive the most people to pick a show, Tinder learned that a fuzzy purple puppet made people curious about me.

The guy I ended up going out with said it straight. “It just stood out. Most profiles blur together.”

And isn’t that what we’re all trying to do?
To be seen. To be different. To remind someone—hey, I’m not like the rest of them.

So yeah, I kept the Muppet photo.

It became my new litmus test.
If a guy laughed, messaged, and leaned into the chaos? We probably got along.
If he asked if I was a furry? Less so.

But either way, the algorithm did its job.
It helped me stop trying to be perfect—and start showing up a little more like myself.

Googly eyes and all.

🧠 Let the App Run the Experiment

Most dating apps have an explore/exploit feature (they just don’t call it that, because who wants to be exploited???). It rotates your profile photos to test which one gets the most engagement—then locks in the top performer.

Here’s how to turn it on:

👉 Tinder: Settings > Smart Photos → Turn it on

👉 Bumble: Edit Profile > Tap Photo Stack > Enable “Best Photo”

👉 Hinge: There’s no toggle, but Hinge does this in the background.

Let the apps run the test while you do literally anything else.

Then check your stats. You might be surprised what wins.

❤️ Weird Works. Test It.

You don’t have to guess quite as much for what works on your profile anymore.

AI will give you feedback.
The algorithm will give you data.
And your inner Yip Yip will give you permission to be slightly unhinged in public.

So test your photos.
Try something weird.
And remember that standing out isn’t about perfection—it’s about permission.

Yip yip yip. Uh huh. Uh huh.

💌 Hit reply if you’ve ever had a surprising photo outperform your favorites.
💌 Forward this to someone who’s too good-looking to still be getting ghosted.

Blue skies,
Carla